dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
