I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
