So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
