Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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