This girl is more easily done than said...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
