Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
