You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
