He kissed a someone with a penis
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
