I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
