My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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