I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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