He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
