am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
