I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
babies were throwing up all over the place
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
