im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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