people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
