Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
