The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Randomize
