I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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