I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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