There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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