Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
