I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
