so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
