I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
