why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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