Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
