my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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