don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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