The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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