it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
