this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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