how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
