is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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