I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
