I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
