So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
