why didn't you poke me back
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
