I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just want nice things and good sex
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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