I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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