Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
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