i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
