It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
