There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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