well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
COCAINE IS GR8
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
