I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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