she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
