I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
