Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
