So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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